She Was Only A Clown Chapters 26 And 27

SHE WAS ONLY A CLOWN is a special serialized novella presented in weekly installments every Saturday. Click here to read chapter 1, click here to read chapter 2, click here to read chapter 3, click here to read chapter 4, click here to read chapter 5, click here to read chapters 6 an 7, click here to read chapters 8 and 9, click here to read chapters 10 and 11, click here to read chapters 12 thru 14, click here to read chapters 15 and 16, click here to read chapters 17 and 18, click here to read chapters 19 thru 21, click here to read chapters 22 and 23 and click here to read chapters 24 and 25. 


Chapter 26

Why’d I do it? Why’d I hit my best friend in the head with a crowbar after she’d saved my life from a psycho killer bent on torturing and raping us to death?

I guess the easy answer is because I could.

See, there’s a lot of my story I haven’t told you. I just told you the fun stuff, the sexy stuff, the stuff to make your dick hard. There’s LOTS of other stuff about me that I don’t tell anybody. In fact, what I’m about to tell you now I’ve never spoken out loud once in my life.

It’s my secret self. The self I keep locked away. You might even say if you were one of those head doctors who get off on this kind of stuff that the reason I’m such an outgoing slut is because it’s the easiest way to mask what’s really going on inside me.

I don’t see people as people. At least that’s what the books I read about other people like me say. I don’t really think of it like that. Sure they’re people but when it gets right down to it, I don’t really give a fuck about anybody, you understand what I’m saying?

I can pretend to care. Hell, I even told you I wanted to marry Mandee at one point because we had so much fun together. But it’s because I loved the fun we had reducing men down to just their dicks. Till that night at psycho Ryan’s house It was the closest I’d ever come to meeting somebody else like me. Shit man, maybe she was just like me only we never talked about it this way.

There were nights guys would be sleeping. Those nights I actually let a guy stay over at my place. There were nights when I would get off harder after he was asleep than when we were fucking. I would stand there over them and I would think about bashing their skulls in or putting a pillow over their faces or poisoning them. Hell, I came up with a new fantasy to kill them just about every time and man oh man did that get me off.

I guess I’ve been this way my whole life. I mean, I know my mom fucked me up bad and those books say it’s always childhood trauma that makes people into psycho killers. I guess my drunk mom laughing while her boyfriends put lit cigarettes out on my bare ass did a number on me. And that’s just the tip of the ole iceberg as far as the sadistic shit she and her men would pull on me. Shit that would make your damn skin crawl, for sure. Enough twisted shit to make me like this, for DAMN sure! 

I don’t really know and frankly I don’t really care. I came to terms with myself a long, long time ago. So when we were standing there in Ryan’s murder room and both of them were distracted trying to kill each other, I got the idea in my head. Even as zonked out on drugs as I was, I saw my plan clearly.

I knew how to get away with murder.


Chapter 27

I didn’t have to do much to Ryan. Mandee had fucked him up pretty good with all the stomping. He just lay there and wheezed. It was Mandee I was worried about. If she could curb stomp a grown man, she could snap my little ass in half without any trouble. I dragged her up onto the blood-stained mattress and hit her in the head again with he crowbar once she started moving around and moaning.

I had to be careful. If I hit her too hard or too many times I was either gonna kill her or cause her brain to swell up enough to that it would kill her pretty quick. I didn’t want that to happen, not yet.

It’s not that I didn’t like Mandee. Hell, I loved her in my own weird way. She’d never really done anything to piss me off. As far as roommates and best friends went, she was pretty fucking spectacular.

Thing is, all that goodness made my pussy that much wetter when I got to thinking about killing her. It’s easy to kill someone you don’t like. There’s not much passion in it. Like getting yourself off one too many times in a day. That last cum just ain’t that satisfying.

I dragged Ryan over next to the mattress. I didn’t like the way he was breathing and turning blue. He wasn’t gonna last much longer and I needed him for one particular thing if I was gonna pull off my plan.

If it was up to me, I’d have kept the two of them alive a few days. Hell, maybe longer if I’d actually been prepared to kill people that night. As it was I was butt ass naked and high on drugs trying to kill my best friend and get away with it in the time it took most people to decide which movie to watch on TV while they ate dinner so I figured even a little bit of fun was a bonus.

I yanked Ryan’s pants off and fished around for his keys till I remembered they’d gone flying when Mandee gave him that nut shot. I scrambled around on the floor and finally found them half-slid under the mattress. Once I had those, I stripped him the rest of the way naked and piled his clothes in the corner of the room.

He didn’t fight me much, which was a bad sign. His face was all puffy and he kept blowing little frothy red bubbles.

When I put his dick in my mouth I was half convinced it wasn’t gonna get hard which was gonna make my plan more complicated. But, to my surprise, his pecker jumped right to attention once I sucked on it for a few seconds.

I don’t know if that’s a natural reaction in all dying men or if it was a testament to Ryan’s virility. Either way After jacking his hard-on off and licking his balls for a few minutes, he was stiff as a corpse.

Maybe that’s not the best comparison considering he was basically on the verge of death while I was blowing him, but fuck it. There it is.

Quick as I could I climbed on top of him and stuck his dick inside me. His eyes rolled out of the back of his head and tried to focus on me while I rode his dick. I mashed his face with my hand, trying to push it as far away from myself as I could while not killing him. I needed him to cum first.

I got up on the balls of my feet and slammed down on his dick as hard as I could, getting it as deep into my pussy as I could. I gyrated my hips, grabbed the shaft and wiggled it around, doing my best to get as much of his DNA up inside me as possible. See where I’m going with this?

All of that fucking had Ryan twitching and turning purple in just a few minutes. I lay my head down on his stomach, jacked his dick off as fast as I could and waited for it. The dude blew a huge load all over my face. Kinda made me sad. If he hadn’t been such a fucking lunatic he would have been a nice lay.

I rolled over and lay on my back for a while, giving his load time to dry. Then I got up and walked over to his torture wall. Man he had all kinds of shit hanging there. The dude was one sadistic fuck.

I stood there admiring his hardware for a while. There were hand-saws, clamps, hot pokers, blow torches, chains, The sick freak even had custom suffocation masks designed to inflict the utmost suffering in his victims.

Imagine if I’d met him under different circumstances? We could have been some kind of psycho killer Bonnie and Clyde, luring young women back to our torture house, taking turns breaking their minds and mutilating their bodies. What a lovely couple we could have made.

As it was, he was about to choke to death on his own blood and I was about to take one of the hand saws off the wall and chop off his dick.

***

Be back here next Saturday, December 23rd, for chapter 28! 

She Was Only A Clown Chapters 24 And 25

SHE WAS ONLY A CLOWN is a special serialized novella presented in weekly installments every Saturday. Click here to read chapter 1, click here to read chapter 2, click here to read chapter 3, click here to read chapter 4, click here to read chapter 5, click here to read chapters 6 an 7, click here to read chapters 8 and 9, click here to read chapters 10 and 11, click here to read chapters 12 thru 14, click here to read chapters 15 and 16, click here to read chapters 17 and 18, click here to read chapters 19 thru 21, and click here to read chapters 22 and 23. 


Chapter 24

Mandee and I were both still naked, wearing only our heels as we made our way through the big old house. We held on to each other and giggled as we felt our way through the dark rooms. Ryan wasn’t turning lights on and the ecstasy was hitting us hard as fuck so we could barely tell up from down when we finally saw a bright light switch on way up ahead in a room in the corner of the huge house.

What is this, hide and seek?” Mandee yelled. Her words were slurred. She was as fucked up as I was. Trying to get down that long dark hallway was like walking through a fun house full off goofy mirrors.

We were fucked up on more than ecstasy.

Again, I don’t want you to think we were that dumb that we let a dude roofie us and drive us out to the boonies. We’d had guys try to spike our drinks before. Hell, I’ve been drugged at least three times while I was out trying to pick up dick. We’ve got mace in our purses and white knights just a phone call away to come save us anytime shit gets too hot in slutsville.

Problem was, Ryan didn’t seem like any of the previous creepy rapeoids we’d run into before. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time Mandee had been so excited to pick up a dude. We were always the huntressess looking for thick, hard cock to pounce on. But as we stumbled and fumbled our way into that back bedroom, I realized we were the prey.

Hang on,” I slurred, trying to get a handle on the situation before we flung ourselves headlong into something we didn’t fully understand.

But Mandee was already hopping into the room. Yes, hopping. She was out of her mind fucked up, pretending to be a rabbit. I lurched after her, trying to clear my head and buy us an extra few seconds to talk about what the hell was happening to us.

But then it was too late. The door shut behind us. I heard the metallic tumble as it was locked. I turned around and even through the wavy haze of my drug induced episode I could tell that Ryan hadn’t taken any ecstasy. He stood there, clear eyed. Smiling. He held something behind his back.

Mandee slumped over onto me, barely able to stand now as the drugs overwhelmed us. It was as if Ryan knew exactly how long he had to get us home before we were jelly-legged and piss-brained.

Like he’d done this before.

W-what the fuck?” is all Mandee could manage as she looked around at the room.

In the corner, Ryan had laid out a bare twin sized mattress. The walls were bare save for one small shelf that contained an assortment of saws, hammers, handcuffs, gags and blindfolds. The windows were covered in thick drapes, not that it mattered way out there in the country.

The thing Mandee was freaking out about was the blood. There was blood dried on the mattress, on the walls around the mattress and the floor. And behind Ryan, the door he’d locked was made of some kind of custom reinforced steel. It had no handle on the inside, just a tiny slot for a key and another larger slot at eye level, presumably for Ryan to leer through when he wasn’t inside doing god knows what to god knows who with the bloody instruments hanging from the walls.

The bitch had really walked us into a torture chamber. We’d roofied ourselves, stripped naked and practically danced right into Ryan’s trap.

Yes bitches can be just that fucking stupid if you make us horny enough.

A clanking sound at my feet snapped me out of my bewildered state. I tried to focus on the object, finally deciding that squinting while closing one eye gave me the best chance at seeing what the fuck it was around the swirl of pulsing color that currently assaulted my senses.

A crowbar.

The fuck are you doing?” I said, staggering around to face our captor.

Ya’ll are fucked. Let’s just get that out there and put it to rest now. You ain’t getting out of this room unless I decide you are, are we clear?”

Mandee started to whine behind me. Her mind was in outer space but she was following Ryan’s words. That was good. I was going to need her help if we were going to live through the night.

At least that was my initial reaction to being locked inside Ryan’s torture room.

Way things actually played out went sideways faster than I can scarf down an uncircumcised cock.


Chapter 25

One of you will pick up that crowbar and hit the other one with it.”

Mandee and I looked at each other, then back at Ryan trying to figure out if he was joking. He didn’t look like he was joking.

Do it now. What the fuck are you whores waiting for, a dog whistle?”

Fuck you, piece of shit!” Mandee yelled, putting her hand on my shoulder for balance.

Ryan laughed. His face had changed. His eyes. It was like a mask had been dropped and the real Ryan was looking at us now. The evil Ryan.

Let me just lay it out there, I know you girls are a little out of it right now, but try to follow along. I’m going to stand outside this room while the two of you beat and rape one another with various instruments of torture while I pleasure myself to the sounds of your screams and pleas for help and I’m only going to let one of you live. If you refuse to play along, I’ll chop you both up while you’re still alive, rape your dismembered bodies in front of each other and feed you to one another until there’s nothing left for me to fuck. Okay?”

Mandee shuffled forward, small tits perked up, hair blown back from running her hands through it. She looked like a nude goddess standing there all defiant, staring death in the face and spitting at it.

I’ll fucking claw your eyes out and rip your little fucking pecker off before you get a chance, asshole! Come on! Fucking come get me!”

Ryan fumbled with the keys in his hand, clearly underestimating Mandee’s level of lucidity. But before he was able to get out of the torture chamber, Mandee caught in him clean in the dick with a lightning fast knee to the groin, causing him to cry out in shock and pain, sending the key ring flying across the room.

That’s when Mandee set to work on his face. She jumped onto his chest, knocking him back into the steel door and started tearing at his eyes with her nails, just as she’d threatened to do.

She got him good, too. Blood was pouring from his face when he finally got a hold of her hair and yanked her head back, peeling her off him like she was an angry cat.

Fucking cunt! I’ll fuck your lifeless eye sockets!”

But for all his big talk, he was still fucked up from the knee to the dick so when Mandee reared back and kicked him in the chest he went down like a sack of assholes.

I said before he was tall but lanky. There wasn’t much to him. He might have been stronger than Mandee but she had that ass and thighs on her.

He lay there trying to suck in air as Mandee went to just stomping on his chest and head. He put his hands up, trying to grab onto her legs and pull her off but after three or four stomps she got him in the throat with her heel and must have cracked or smashed something in there because he set to wheezing after that and it was clear he didn’t pose much of a threat anymore.

Mandee turned around, covered in Ryan’s blood, doing a lot of huffing and puffing of her own. “Get the keys,” she said, wiping the blood out of her eyes. “let’s get the motherfuck outta here!”

That’s when I hit her in the face with the crowbar.

***

Be back here next Saturday, December 16th, for chapter 26! 

Kevin Strange’s Top 8 Obscure Monster Movies


I don’t know about you dudes, but when I was a kid, there was nothing cooler than finding a brand new monster flick at the video store. There was Godzilla and King Kong, horror monsters like zombies, demons, giant insects, werewolves, vampires, mummies, you name it. I loved them all. Sit me in front of the TV and all my worries went away as soon as those monsters hit the screen!

I was a fucking monster kid and still am. I used to wish I WAS a monster. To this day I still make movies full of monsters and write novels about monsters. And still to this day I LOVE to find new and cool monster movies that I never saw when I was a kid.

This list is my attempt to introduce you lot to some monsters you may not necessarily be familiar with. Of course since I’m an 80s kid, my list is going to be biased toward rad 80s flicks. Here are my top 8 obscure monster movies. Hope you like em!

8. Dead Heat

This whopper of a flick stars Joe Piscopo and Treat Williams and is so weird and wacky it flies right under most people’s radars. I can’t in good faith call it a good movie, but it IS an obscure movie so I can include it on my list and still sleep well tonight.

In essence, this is a zombie cop buddy movie but it takes such bizarre twists and turns and basically turns all of the main characters into monsters that I just HAD to include it on my list. Furthermore, I like this movie so much I dedicated a whole podcast to it.

Melty love interests, killer cold-cuts, violently murdered partners. This flick brings the monster gore!

7. Brain Damage

So if you’re worth your salt as a monster kid, you’ve probably seen the BASKET CASE series of films. They were displayed prominently at video stores in the 80s. Each subsequent sequel got weirder and weirder until there were musical numbers and shit. Totally wacky stuff.

But the BASKET CASE dude also made this weird little gem (and FRANKENHOOKER which will inevitably end up on another of my movie lists in the future) that most people haven’t seen. It’s called BRAIN DAMAGE which often gets confused with BRAINDEAD, the original title of the Peter Jackson zombie flick DEAD ALIVE.

This low budget nonsense is about a parasitic alien thing named Aylmer who lives inside a dude’s body and gets the dude hooked on his blue brain-piss or something.

It’s very reminiscent of the BASKET CASE storyline but with an even weirder monster and even more violent kills. Definitely a must watch if you’re into the body horror sub genre and love getting grossed out by bodily fluids.

6. Rawhead Rex

Just look at that goofy muppet face! How could yo not love RAWHEAD REX? Written by Clive Barker himself, this is probably his most obscure writing credit based on one of his most popular books.

RAWHEAD REX appeared in Barker’s Books of Blood short story collection series. The movie basically ends up being nothing like the story and has some of the worst practical effects for a monster shown so prominently and made to be taken so seriously.

Add in some great gore, some awkward monster-stalking and some bizarre priest-pissing scenes and you’ve got yourself one helluva monster flick most people have never even heard of!

5. Killer Tongue

This is another of my personal favorite flicks. KILLER TONGUE takes the hot chick zombie from RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 3 and pits her against Freddy Krueger himself, Robert Englund as a sadistic prison warden bent on hunting down said hot chick’s boyfriend at all costs.

KILLER TONGUE features insane cannibalism, sexy leather body suits, a talking tongue monster, a gaggle of poodle-turned-transvestite sidekicks and you have one of the weirdest most batshit crazy monster movies you’re ever likely to come across.  I dedicated a podcast to this one, too.

4. Society

SOCIETY is a flick that I’ve already included in another one of my movie lists but we’re gonna go ahead and cover it again here because it’s both one of the coolest melt movies ever AND one of the most obscure monster movies you’ve probably never heard of.

The flick features literal “butt heads” a chick who turns her entire body around to soap up her own ass in the shower and a ton of other absolutely bonkers monsters and ends in a gigantic orgy where all of the monsters melt into a gigantic orgy of connected flesh.

It’s so odd that most people have never even bothered to watch it. But if you like the off-the-wall shit, you should totally check it out!

3. Hardware

Alright so this flick only has one monster in it and that monster is actually a killer robot but let’s take a damn second, settle down and talk about just how cool HARDWARE is.

Richard Stanley is an auteur renegade filmmaker who shamefully never got a real shot at making a gigantic visionary film. Well, he actually did. He was set to make that awful 90s ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU disaster but got fired part of the way through.

He’s never worked on another significant film which is a crying shame. BUT he did make HARDWARE and it is an absolute visual treat. It is the film equivalent of the 90s industrial metal music genre. In fact, it uses music from MINISTRY as part of its soundtrack.

The gore is brief but brutal and the killer robot’s design is magnificent. You’ve probably never seen HARDWARE but you owe it to yourself as a monster movie fan to rectify that immediately!

2. The Keep

THE KEEP for sure has one of the coolest soundtracks of any monster flick and also one of the coolest monsters that you’ve probably never even heard of. THE KEEP is Michael Mann’s red-headed step child. It’s never been released on Blu Ray or even DVD because he’s embarrassed that he made a low budget horror flick early in his career.

Well fuck him, buddy. This movie is fucking badass! It features Nazis getting the fuck killed out of them and one of the absolute coolest monsters you will ever see on film, guaranteed.

Nazis try to loot a citadel only to unleash a demonic force that proceeds to wipe them out to one of the best Tangerine Dream synth soundtracks ever! This demon spends the first half of the movie as some sort of anthropomorphic smoke with glowing red eyes. Seriously you have to see it to understand just how fucking cool it looks.

Find THE KEEP if you can. It’s worth every penny.

 

1. Return of the Living Dead 3

Known for its super sexy zombie girl Julie, RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 3 has been surprisingly hard to find for years. It was recently released as a limited edition blu ray, like a lot of the movies on this list, but also like a lot of those blu rays is extremely over priced and will probably be out of print soon.

What’s often overlooked about this flick, though, is just how amazing the zombie monsters are. From the gang leader having his spine stretched up into some kind of horrific snake-like creature, to the homeless guy who gets screwed into a metal exoskeleton and the Trioxin barrel zombie who rips half its own face off crawling out of the barrel, this flick is LOADED with great gore and even cooler zombie monsters.

If you think zombies ended with Romero or the first ROTLD, you’re playing yourself. I put ROTLD 3 above almost any other zombie flick in terms of monster factor. This one is the business!