Kevin Strange’s Summer Speed Writing Class Now Forming!


Great fiction does not have to take years to write! Brilliance in prose does not require tortured hours, dozens of drafts, second guessing and self-loathing! Throw that tired shit right out the window and learn how to write FAST solid stories with rich, compelling characters and plots that will make your readers’ heads spin with the Strange Writing technique!

Award-winning novelist Kevin Strange, author of over 18 books, will take you on an intimate, month long workshop journey featuring hands-on and energetic weekly hour-long lectures that will teach you to trust your instincts, unlock your creativity and get those precious words down on paper faster than you ever dreamed possible!

Using Google Hangouts, classes will meet for one hour on Saturday afternoons wherein Kevin will lay out his techniques in a comfortable, conversational style that will leave you inspired, confident and ready to write all of the amazing stories that have remained locked inside your head due to negative mindset, fear and second-guessing.

At the end of the month you will have written a short story that Kevin will then edit and return to you with tips, tricks and pointers on how to get it published. And one lucky student will win the workshop prize for best story and get the next Kevin Strange writing workshop for FREE!

Click here to sign up. Slots are limited and come on a first come, first serve basis. Classes will run from Early July to Early August. Exact dates TBA when all slots fill. You are welcome to reserve a slot for the next workshop if you miss out on this one. Let’s get writing at the speed of Strange, gang!

She Was Only A Clown Chapter 49

SHE WAS ONLY A CLOWN is a special serialized novella presented in weekly installments every Saturday. Click here to read chapter 1, click here to read chapter 2, click here to read chapter 3, click here to read chapter 4, click here to read chapter 5, click here to read chapters 6 an 7, click here to read chapters 8 and 9, click here to read chapters 10 and 11, click here to read chapters 12 thru 14, click here to read chapters 15 and 16, click here to read chapters 17 and 18, click here to read chapters 19 thru 21, click here to read chapters 22 and 23, click here to read chapters 24 and 25, click here to read chapters 26 and 27, click here to read chapters 28 and 29, click here to read chapters 30 thru 32, click here to read chapters 33 and 34, click hereto read chapter 35, click here to read chapter 36, click here to read chapter 37, click hereto read chapter 38, click here to read chapter 39, click here to read chapter 40, click here to read chapter 41, click here to read chapter 42, click here to read chapter 43, click here to read chapters 44 and 45, click here to read chapter 46 and click here to read chapters 47 and 48.


Chapter 49

Kiana dropped the psychic thread and spun around. Standing directly behind her were three horrible figures. The Nelson brothers. She knew their names because Elwood had told her in painstaking detail about them gang-raping her before the Entity ruined their bodies and brought them back to life, only to, apparently, suck their consciousnesses along with their Brother Mark’s up here into its alien body high above Earth’s atmosphere.

Hiya, bitch!”

Jacob, Philip and Carl were even more hideous than Elwood had described them as now their bodies were made up of pink fetus-creatures all mashed together in the same way Mark Nelson’s giant face had been before Elwood had thrown her through Mark’s eye like a torpedo.

The three Nelson brothers were all naked with misshapen limbs completely out of proportion to the rest of their bodies. Jacob’s arms were both small, like a baby’s arms jutting out from the sides of his torso. Philip’s head was three times the size of his brothers’ and Carl had huge legs and feet resembling a morbidly obese person with a heart condition causing their appendages to swell.

All three of them though, had one appendage in common. Their cocks were as huge as horse dicks. They swung down past the naken rednecks’ knees wide as baseball bats with veins thick as pencils wrapping around them this way and that.

Look fellas,” Kiana said, backing away toward the direction she hoped Elwood’s body lay in. “Much as I wouldn’t mind getting air-tight, four-way fucked in every one of my holes by those,” her eyes got wide as she checked out their cocks again. “Big ole wieners, I got’sa mission I’m on and my friend would be mighty disappointed in me if I went and let the world end while I was having the time of my life gettin’ butt-fucked by some nasty-ass motherfuckers like you three.”

In truth, Kiana was more disgusted by their fetus bodies than anything other thing she could think of in her entire life. Those ugly little fuckers that made up the three redneck brothers’ bodies were all twitching and mouthing words at her, all their beady little black eyes just staring off. She had the heebie-jeebies something fierce right then, and was doing her god damned best not to show it.

Oh no, this bitch talks too much!” Carl said in mock disappointment. “’A’fore we couldn’t get her to say a damn thing now the cunt won’t shut the fuck up!”

She won’t be jabberin’ for long,” Philip said, drool pooling around his lips on his big ass head as he stared at her large naked tits. “We’ll fill her mouth up so tight, she won’t make a sound!”

In that moment, Kiana regretting making her astral boobs and butt so appealing.

Suddenly, Jacob’s little baby arms shot out off his body like strings of spaghetti attempting to grab her.

Kiana turned her nude skin into spikes as the little hands touched her, mangling them in the process. “Back off, jack offs! This body ain’t yours to fuck on!” It felt strange spurning the advances of men. Even repulsive men who made her want to vomit still shamefully made her pussy wet.

But she could not let Elwood down. It was in that moment that she realized how much she truly cared for the man she’d only seemingly just met. But then time played games with the senses inside the Entity. What had merely been hours down below on Earth seemed like months up here.

Elwood was the truest, most sincere person she’d ever met. She could not disappoint him now.

Jacob screamed and complained as he retracted his mangled hands. Carl and Philip laughed at his expense as they rushed forward, intent on capturing their prey, enthused to no end by her protests and willingness to fight back.

Kiana turned her hands to long blades as the two brothers came up on either side of her. She swung at Phillip’s huge head with both sword-arms but only managed to get them stuck in the side of his skull as Carl came up behind and grabbed her, the spikes on her body doing little to dissuade the rape-hungry redneck from wrestling her to the ground.

Phillip dislodged her arms from his head and pinned them up above her own as Jacob with his tiny bloody hands slowly stalked up the middle toward her defenseless pussy.

All three brothers’ cocks were hard as she cussed and screamed at them to let her go. Her protests were obviously making them even more excited to rape her and a part of her couldn’t help herself but to egg them on, in spite of how sincerely she wanted to find Elwood’s body and figure out how to set off the bomb.

Both Carl and Philip ran their hands along her body, ignoring the spiky protrusions as though they were nothing more than thorns on the stem of a rose.

God damn, brothers!” Philip said, as he squeezed Kiana’s sizable left breast, his giant head still drooling. “I think these titties is bigger than they were downstairs!”

You right!” Carl said, gripping up a handful of her right tit to test their mass for himself. “Way bigger!”

Jacob’s hands had healed themselves, replaced by more little fetus creature parts as he stood between Kiana’s legs. His enormous pecker looked absolutely ridiculous jutting up far enough in front of his torso that he was just able to grasp a hold of its tip with his baby hand and ever so slightly jack it off until a shiny sliver of pre-cum dripped out onto the huge purple helmet-like head.

Quit jackin’ it off and fuck her with it you stupid shit!” Carl shouted, his own cock now draped over Kiana’s stomach sideways as he knelt on the tentacle floor holding her in place for his brother to have his way with.

Let me take my goddamn time and enjoy my damn self, jeeze-louise!” Jacob snapped back in mock anger. But he did as his younger brother said, letting his baseball-bat-like dong fall from his baby hand. It thumped on Kiana’s hairless pussy, stimulating her clit enough to make her drip pussy juice from between her lips.

Look! This broad wants the cock, brother!” Phillip said, his huge head bouncing back and forth on his shoulders like a beach ball.

But just as Jacob thrust his huge member forward, Kiana phased dimensions,  monetarily turning transparent and leaped up onto her feet as the brothers lost their grip. She phased back to regular reality and grew her ass out longer and fatter as she took off running. She grew several new sets of legs out of this new ass to make her faster until she resembled a humanoid-like centipede racing across the tops of the fetus-pods in the direction the mind-thread had guided her.

She scooped the thread back up out of the pink fluid of the nearest pod as the three Nelson brothers cursed and gave chase, Carl breaking out ahead of the other two on his long monster legs.

Kiana tugged on the thread to gauge how much further she had to go before reaching Elwood’s body. To her astonishment, the thread stopped only a few pods ahead of her. She’d found him!

Unfortunately, that’s when Carl caught up and tackled her back to the ground.

Hurry up! Bitch done turned herself inta some kinda bug!” Carl yelled as Kiana tried to wiggle her long ass and half dozen legs free of the fetus-bodied redneck. He bore his weight on her and held her in place until the other Nelsons arrived.

I’ll be,” Jacob said, rubbing his tiny hands together in anticipation of the coming brutality. “Slut looks like some kinds crawdad done fucked a lady and had a weird ass baby!”

All three brothers laughed as Kiana tried to phase out again in desperation.

Nuh uh! Not so fast sugar!” Carl said, phasing with her, then dragging her astral self back to the present reality. “You fooled us with that trick once’t but we gots us them ghost powers, too.”

Kiana tilted her head back. She could still see the mind-thread dipping into a pod not ten feet from where she was pinned down. All she had to do was get over there. But then what? Elwood had never told her what to do once she got there…

Jacob pushed her extra sets of legs out of the way and knelt between them. “Say, brothers?”

Yeah, Jake?” Philip said as he sucked Kiana’s entire boob into his over-sized mouth, his slug-like tongue smearing rank saliva all over her quarter-sized nipple, causing it to stand erect in spite of her frustration and disgust.

‘I was thinkin’,” Jacob said as he mounted her, sinking his club-dick deep into her without needing to lube it up even slightly. She was already gushing just from the verbal abuse, titty play and chase.

Kiana grunted in pleasure in spite of herself. She had to get to Elwood, but would it really hurt to bust a few nuts with these animals beforehand?

When we was dickin’ this whore down back downstairs on Earth,” Jacob continued as he began to thrust into her in earnest causing a wet squishing sound as his golfball-sized testicles slapped against her squirming extra legs and ass. “She wasn’t down there with us, was she? Not this part’a her, I mean. Her mind. It was up here mindin’ its own business while we trashed her body ‘fore she trashed us.”

I recon,” Carl said, rubbing his cane-length dong all over Kiana’s face while she struggled to turn her head away.

An now, up here,” Jacob said, beginning to pant and sweat from the exertion as he drilled Kiana’s soaking wet pussy harder and harder. “We got her mind all trapped up, but we ain’t got her body no more. Not her for real one.”

Yeah. Whatcha getting’ at?”

Kiana couldn’t help herself anymore. She cried out again and again, equal parts pleasure and revulsion rocking her with each violent slam. In spite of herself she came, her cries muffled by Carl shoving his huge stump of a cock in her mouth at the moment of orgasm. She nearly threw up from the sensation of all those little fetus hands and feet and faces slamming in and out of her mouth and it was everything she could do to drown out the sounds of their soft cries as the creatures who made up Jacob’s mass were slowly drown in her juices.

Well,” now Jacob was huffing and puffing, clearly about to cum as he jackhammered Kiana’s pussy to the point that her outer labia had already begun to turn red and swell from Jacob’s girth and the power of his thrusts. “I just don’t think that’s fair, us only getting’ one or the Uh UH Other!”

Yeah, that’s like a ripoff!” Philip added as he raked his big dick over Kiana’s eyes and forehead while she convulsed from orgasm after orgasm. 

Jacob couldn’t hold out any longer, he retracted his length from Kiana’s beaten up hole and let it bounce free in the air above her as he couldn’t quite manage to get his baby arms around it to jack it off. In spite of that, his dong managed to ejaculate clear from Kiana’s soaking wet crotch, across her stomach, all over both her massive tits and onto her face before it stopped spurting.

He took long deep breaths as his ugly cock twitched to a stop. Then he continued. “So I’s been thinkin’. Why should we have to pick one or the other, when I got her upstairs body with me right here?”

Kiana, head only just now begnning to clear after she’d been rendered cock-drunk from the pounding Jacob had given her, looked on in horror, still covered in his squirming spunk as Jacob dug his tiny hands into his chest, rooted around much to the protest of the fetus-creatures making up his flesh, and pulled one out.

It dangled limply from his little hand as if dead. As it slowly spun around, Kiana shrieked when she saw that the face staring back at her with lifeless eyes was that of her own.

***

Check back next Saturday for chapter 50!

R.I.P. Nick Walters AKA Hack Movies’ Nick Head


Last night I was invited by a lady friend to watch her play volleyball. Afterward, we went to a small bar in town where I immediately ran into an acquaintance I rarely ever see. The last time I saw him a few months ago, we caught up and traded stories about our mutual friend Nick who neither of us had seen in quite some time.

Last night when I saw this friend he asked me, “oh are you here for the gathering?” I asked him what he was talking about. He told me Nick had died yesterday and his friends were all gathering at the bar to remember him. I’d stumbled into my friend’s informal wake completely by random chance.

And that’s how so much of Hack Movies went. Making movies was never hard for me. All of the scripts, actors, locations, editing software, camera and lighting equipment, it just manifested when it was needed and disappeared when it wasn’t. I always felt, as stupid as it sounds given the nature of my basement level gutter-trash films, that a higher power was guiding Hack Movies.

So it didn’t really surprise me that the B-Movie gods or whatever it is put me in that bar to swap stories about our friend Nick Walters AKA Nick Head who tragically left us far, far too early at the age of 41.

I didn’t tell it last night because his friends weren’t into filmmaking, but my favorite memory of Nick was on the set of Nixon And Hogan Smoke Christmas. He was set to reprise his role as Nixon’s iconic neighbor Don Duepe, tying the movie even tighter into the Strangeville Mythos.

Nick was playing triple duty as set designer, cinematographer and actor that day and he was very stressed out. The night before, he had recorded himself reciting all of his dialogue for the scene, which was massive. Probably 3 pages worth of ridiculous Kevin Strange monologue.

On set, Nick wore ear buds while dressing the scene and setting up the camera and lighting. He listened to his lines over and over and over again for maybe two hours. He would mumble them to himself as he worked. Mind you, he was already completely in costume which always included rubbing dirt all over his face for whatever reason.

Before he would act, he always looked in a small hand mirror and scrunched up his face, giving him that hideous Don Duepe expression. So once it was time to record his parts, he took the earbuds out, held up the mirror and proceeded to fuck up the lines dozens and dozens of times, having to grab the mirror and re-apply his Don Duepe face each time.

It was one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen and I could not keep myself from laughing to tears at poor Nick’s expense which only made him all the more frustrated that he couldn’t get his lines down. Needless to say he got through it and the scene is prefect and will live on long past all of us, Nick, me, you all reading this. Don Duepe will live forever.

The last phonecall I had with Nick was last year. He’d suffered a stroke a few years prior and I’d had my own health problems in recent years. I was feeling very, very mortal and in that long 3 or 4 hour conversation (our phone calls were always manic and endless, covering dozens of topics in rapid succession) I told him that I felt compelled to make a new film with him before one of us died. We never made that movie.

I spoke about our meeting in a Hack Movies retrospective I penned for this website several years ago. I’m going to re-post what I wrote about him, then elaborate further:

The DEAD SHIT era is what I consider the true beginning of the Hack Movies style and universe. It also saw the creation of Strangeville’s two most important characters, Nixon and Hogan. But before that happened, I got an excited email from one of the weirdest dudes I would ever meet. We would form an art-loving bond so strong that our friendship would last well beyond the final time I picked up a video camera.

I’m talking, of course, about Hack Movies cinematographer Nick Head. Turns out he was from the same stupid small town I was from and he was also in the middle of making a movie. A Star Wars parody movie at that! We met one day in a Steak N Shake parking lot and talked for hours about our love of film and our ambitions as filmmakers. It was a no-brainer that we’d work together on a project or two. But I don’t think either of us had any idea how often we would work together in the future, or how important of a role he would play in bringing my cinematic universe to life.

That’s not hyperbole. If I am the brains behind Strangeville, then Nick Walters is the heart and we’ve lost our heart, gang. I can’t stress enough how often Nick and I talked in those early years. We’d sit at his house and print thousands and thousands of Hack Movies promo DVDs with trailers and teaser scenes on them that we’d then go hand out at music stores and take on the road with us to conventions.

On those long nights pressing up DVD after DVD, we’d talk through the Hack Movies universe, the interconnected films and characters. We’d make filming schedules, lists of props and gear. We’d obsess over other no-budget films together and swap filmmaking how-to books to reverse engineer the cheapest and fastest way to shoot our movies.

Nick was every bit as much Hack Movies as I was. Everything you love about the Hack Movies cinematic style and everything you hate about it is all thanks to Nick. He made it his life’s work to learn everything he could about cheap video cameras and lighting and editing equipment.

We became brothers and we stayed brothers long after Hack Movies ended. In recent years Nick had withdrawn from just about everyone after suffering a stroke and sadly I only communicated with him back and forth a few times after that happened. But that night that we talked for hours about making a new movie? That night it was like no time had passed, no health problems were standing in our way and the old fire and flame, the old lust for cinema was back with us, even if only for one night.

I’m going to miss my friend. If you’re a fan of the movies, give ’em a watch this week and be satisfied in the knowledge that those movies would have never existed without the hand and heart of Hack Movies’ Nick Head. May he rest in peace.