#Nanowrimo Sucks, And This Is Why

nanwrimosucks

Originally published as a Goodreads.com blog November 5th, 2012. 

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So, it’s National Write a Novel in a month, month. I’ve been seeing this thing posted all over the internet. Basically, a bunch of amateur, non-writers attempt and mostly fail to write a novel in 30 days. There are widgets and social networking plug-ins to allow you to show all your buddies your progress as you race against the clock to write a book.

This is not how you write a book.

I understand the sentiment. Why should anyone nay-say a fun exercise in writing that can only lead to more literacy and awareness of reading and writing?

Because it’s a fucking stupid way to promote literacy.

I tend to liken everything to fighting or building. Disciplined skills practiced over time lead to meaningful results. You don’t say, “I can’t win a kickboxing fight” without first training kickboxing. You can say you WON’T or don’t want to win a kickboxing fight, but not that you can’t. You are just as capable as any other healthy human, if you’re willing to master the discipline.

Same goes for building a house, which is the more appropriate metaphor for writing a novel. Both writing your own novel, and building your own home are American Dreams. Things any self-respecting American plans to do at some point in their lives.

Only most Americans don’t have clue one how to do either, and will fail miserably when and if they finally muster up the gumption to give it a go. And here’s why:
We’re a group of self-entitled, nancy-pants, adult children who believe that things are just supposed to happen for us, without any hint of discipline or craftsmanship on our part.

I used to say, back in my film days, that 80% of indie films die in production. Every horror fan wants to direct a horror movie. And with digital technology, any horror fan can. A lot try, most fail. Why? Because they don’t know how to build a movie.

And most of these people who participate in this nonsense novel writing month thing, they don’t have clue one how to build a book. If you decided tomorrow that you were going to build a house, just cause Grandpa built the one you grew up in, and whatever grandpa can do, you can too, just because you fee entitled to it—well, you’re gonna fail miserably.

Before you build a whole freakin house, you’ve got to remodel your basement. Add a few rooms down there. Learn how to build door frames, lay carpet, run wiring, add a bathroom and learn plumbing. Maybe turn your garage into an extended family room. Then build a nice work-shed out back. It wouldn’t hurt to hang out with some carpenters and help them build a few houses, too, before you decide to tackle the job yourself.

Sounds like common sense, right? Well then why don’t people use this same basic logic when it comes to writing a novel? I think the answer is two fold. First, the markets for short stories have all but evaporated, and most adults that now want to write a novel, have rarely, if ever, seen a short story collection or anthology in a bookstore, and therefore don’t understand that any novel writer worth his/her weight in words, started off writing butt-loads of short fiction first.

Secondly, much like indie film making, the advent of Kindle/eBook self-publishing allows for any dim-wit with a word processor on their laptop to think they’re the next Charles Dickens.

All of my fellow writers out there understand exactly what I’m saying. In a lot of ways, I’m preaching to the choir, and regurgitating what’s been written thousands of times in self help how-to-write-for-dummies books. But I’m not writing this blog for you guys. I’m writing it for all the people out there who struggle, and fail, time and time again, to write their first novel.

I’ve only just now become aware of just how MANY of you there are out there, as posts about national novel month spring up all over the social networking sites. I’m seeing things like, “I don’t know what kind of book I’m writing. Suspense maybe? We’ll see as I get further along.” And, “I’ve been planning my novel for 6 months, I don’t want to just puke it all up in one month!”

What? What?

Just like kickboxing, or house building, there are disciplined elements that go into novel writing that must first be recognized, then learned, then mastered. Elements like plot, pacing, character development, subplots, climaxes, conclusions. These elements don’t just appear as you write. They must be understood in advance.

I don’t outline to the extreme that some people do. I think over-outlining can lead to writer’s block, or just a general loss of enthusiasm for a project, if all the fun has already been laid out clinically before you’ve even put your first paragraph to paper. But some form of outlined structure has to be present before your book can become anything except another 75,000 word rant left to fester and die in an obscure folder on your desktop.

Everyone writes differently. There is no “right” way to write a novel, just as there is no “right” way to build your house. It’s art. Take liberties. Think outside the box of tradition. But if you’re failing over and over again, year after year while playing Hemingway for National Write a Novel Month, then you need to really think about learning the rules before you decide to break them.

For me, I like to know my title, my first line, and my ending before I’m comfortable digging in to a book. You may write completely differently. But if you don’t even understand what kind of conflict your main character is facing,–or how they will change as people because of it–before you start your book, you’re destined for failure. And for you over-planners who are afraid to write too fast? You can’t master a breath-taking spinning back kick by sitting around thinking about doing it for 6 months. You have to kick that bag every single day. Over and over again until you’re throwing kicks in your sleep.

A good writer who writes every day will know what I’m talking about when I say that after a really good day of writing maybe 5k or more, I’ll dream in prose. I’ll narrate my own dreams in paragraph form. You’ll never be a good writer, or probably ever finish a book, for that matter, without practicing every single day.

The best way to do that, to learn these elements, to recognize plot structure and the elements of good fiction is to write short stories. Instead of trying to write a novel in one month, try writing ten short stories in ten months. Make them no longer than 10 thousand words. Then, by the end of the ten months, you’ll have 100,000 words. A novel’s worth of characters, plots, antagonists, beautiful landscapes and shocking conclusions. Do that for two years. Get yourself 20 shorts stories written and you might find a weird thing happening.

Your stories will start to bust out of that 10 thousand word cage. Now your stories are pushing 15k, then topping 25k. Your plots are becoming more intricate, your characters are practically jumping to life, right off your page, and best yet, you’re actually getting good at this! You go back and read some of your most recent shorts and you realize that they’re not half bad. Somewhere along the way, you’ve become a pretty decent fiction writer.

What’s that? It’s National Novel Writing Month again? You only have to have 50 thousand words? Well your last short was 27k. You can do that. Hell, you’ve already got an idea in your head for a great story. This time? This time you’re going to finish your own damn novel.

Kevin Strange Writing Workshop Testimonial 3

Gang! We are no12980719_10154703667443098_1559025993_ow just 24 hours out from my next workshop registration! The previous workshop filled in less than two days, so be sure to come back here to KevinTheStrange.com tomorrow at 12:00pm CST to ensure you get a spot. IT WILL SELL OUT!

In my workshops, I teach a one hour lecture, live via Google Hangouts which ensures that the energy and enthusiasm I bring to writing and teaching fiction is communicated as fully and naturally as possible without actually being inside a classroom.

The workshop spans four weeks and is totally interactive. I encourage class participation and communication through the webcam technology of Google Hangouts which enables us to talk in real time, just like a real classroom!

But again, you don’t have to take my word for it. Here’s former student Craig Bullock on the Kevin Strange writing workshop:

“The class enabled me to transform an idea into a full, marketable story. The seminars provided a great insight into the structure of what a short story should be and provided me with the knowledge to confidently write and promote my work. Was an invaluable experience that will stay with me throughout my writing endeavours and one that I am eager to repeat again. The support and advice provided was invaluable and helped guide me towards my end goal, constantly making me evaluate my approach to writing a short story.”

How to not fail at NaNoWriMo in 5 easy steps

kevinthestrangelogo4A few years ago I wrote a scathing blog about NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month, for the uninitiated. Every November, the amateurs come out of the woodwork to play author while those of us who do this full time smile and pat them on their heads. Most authors simply look at this month as a raised awareness of writing fiction as art, and celebrate it as a victory for writers everywhere.

I did not look a it that way.

I raged and pointed out the common sense reasons why one cannot simply become a novelist for one month a year because one wants to. My blog was published in a college literary journal, and I pranced around like Mr. Know-It-All for months afterward. I still stand by those words, but today I realize that NaNoWriMo isn’t going anywhere. I can’t be angry at the amateurs every single year and sing them the same finger-wringing song of doom and failure each time I see that familiar hashtag. So this year, I’m going to present you newcomers to the novel writing game with five easy steps to ensure that you’ll complete this year’s challenge. Best of luck!

1. Have a game plan before you begin

I’ve said in the past, I’m not a meticulous outliner. But one of the easiest ways to fail at writing a novel is to have no idea what you’re writing to begin with. Too much outlining ruins the fun of discovery, but no direction at all will keep your book from being a cohesive page turner. Even if you finish, you’ll have a bunch of meandering exposition, not an engaging potboiler that will keep your readers up at night, turning pages, wondering what happens next.

Personally, I visualize my books in three acts. An introductory act that leads into a conflict act that leads into a climax and resolution act. I might not know exactly what happens to my characters, but I have a solid idea of who they are at the start, what their conflict is, and at least one or two paths that might lead them to some sort of change, be it death, an inner turmoil resolved, or solidarity in a belief they’d lost faith in before the book began. Know your characters’ arcs before you send them out in the maze or they’ll surely get lost, starve, and die the death of the unfinished novel.

2. Keep it simple, stupid

NaNoWriMo isn’t about starting on your nine part urban fantasy/YA/post apocalyptic series. It’s about boots to ground, one foot in front of the other, get the shit done writing, right? It’s about completing a 50,000 word novel in 30 days, right? You ain’t going to tell Princess Esmarelda’s sprawling 580 page novel in 30 days. You’re just not. Instead, thinking about writing a story about your cat gaining human-like sentience and enslaving all of the dogs in the neighborhood toward its goal of world domination. In other words, the simpler the concept, the easier the execution. Choosing a complicated concept is one sure fire way to fail at your goal and not finish your book. Think of something fun, fast, and interesting enough to keep your attention every day. You’ll be surprised how fast your word count adds up when you’re cranking out 2k in the morning or before lunch 7 days a week for month. If you can’t explain your novel’s concept in a couple of short, concise sentences, you’re destined to paint yourself into a corner and barely get through Esmarelda’s elderly aunt’s back story by the time you hit 50k.

3. Word count means everything

Speaking of word count, that’s your life-line, kid. Like long distance runners count miles and minutes to keep pace, so too will your words to hours ratio keep you motivated, on task, and pounding through pages toward all the glory and victory your bragging rights will grant you for being the only one on your Starbucks barista shift to actually have a completed 50 thousand word novel come November 30th.

You’re going to need about 1700 words a day to finish your book by the end of the month. I’m sure you’ve seen that stat all over the internet by now, but this is what it means. It means you’re going to devote about three hours a day, every single day, for thirty days in a row in order to write your novel. Does that seem like a lot of work? You’re the one wants to write a novel in a single month, bud. I already told you in my last blog on the subject that you shouldn’t even try. But here we are, two years later and you’re still hashtag: NaNoWriMo lol-ing it up all over my facebook feed. You asked for it, this the work part. Get up early, turn off your phone, have your internet tabs closed and your word document open when you get up in the morning. Have your coffee ready to go and your playlist synched up on your iPod. From 9am to noon, your ass is in the seat, and you’re typing eight or nine pages a day.

Some of you don’t have mornings free. You’re going to have to do your three hours in the afternoon or at night after work, before you go to bed. Regardless, the rules still apply. Get rid of your distractions, set yourself up for success, and plan your hours ahead of time. Do not try to write 5,000 words a day and gloat all over social media that you’ll be finished with your novel in two weeks. You won’t. You’ll fail. You’ll burn out. And you’ll lol and say you didn’t really expect to finish anyway. That’s why real writers don’t like you. This is a long distance marathon, kids. Not a sprint. You’ll gas and fall over dead long before you hit the finish line. Find your pace and stick to it. Some people can pound out 1700 words in an hour. For me it takes about three hours, give or take how easily the words are coming that day. Your word count is your anchor. Respect it. Pace yourself. Be patient. The 30th will be here before you know it.

4. Word count means nothing

It took me a lot of years to find my pace and rhythm and to figure out what kind of writing schedule works for me. As a writer new to the novel writing game, it’s going to take you years to figure it out as well. NaNoWriMo is about exploring and expanding your abilities as an author. Maybe you like to outline a bit in the morning, plan your scenes in your head in the afternoon, and do your hardcore writing late into the night. Maybe you’re a marathoner who works great under pressure. If that’s you, maybe you’ll write your novel in three hardcore binges over the weekends cranking out 10k a day in a frenzied panic. Whatever gets you the best results is how you’ll succeed as a novelist. My above advice is what I think is the easiest way for a new writer to keep from getting discouraged and quitting because their word count doesn’t match their deadline. However you write is the right way. There is no wrong way. The only way to fail at NaNoWriMo is to not write at all.

For me, I go both ways. A lot of times, I’ll get my first twenty or twenty five thousand words done at a slow, methodical pace, and then rent a hotel room and binge the last twenty in a couple of crazy days and nights. I’ve written entire books the slow way, and the marathon way. I can’t say one method works better, or produces a better quality book than the other. Every single book is different and will present its own unique challenges. As soon as you think you’ve got it all figured out and the writing game mastered, your next book will throw you for a loop, and make you question how you ever got through the other books you wrote in one piece. Writing a novel is a humbling, taxing experience every time. Adapt. Change. Be ready for anything.

5. Finish, finish, finish!

Whether you finish your novel a week early or a week late, finish the book. So many writers out there are sitting on half or three quarters finished books. That, to me, is a great tragedy. All books deserve to be written, and deserve to be read. No one can read your book, REALLY read your book unless it’s got a beginning, a middle, AND an end. Respect your book, and respect yourself as an author. Finish it. Have an ideal reader in mind. Confide in them throughout the process. Make it someone in love with your novel concept who loves to read. Get excited about your ideal reader getting to that twist midway through the book. Think of their eyes widening when you kill off the character they’ll least expect. See the anger in their eyes as they violently turn the page when they think your protagonist is making the dumbest mistake ever, only to cheer when it turns out the whole thing was an elaborate ruse, and picture the tears in their eyes when the displaced lovers are finally reunited in the end. This is why we write. We’re storytellers. We want to move people with our wild fantasies. Picture your ideal reader reading every line as you type it. That is victory. That is success. Finish your book. Let it be read.

Good luck, amateurs. Here’s to your success this November. May you fall in love with writing, and write the greatest novel of all time.