7 Days in Strangeville Day 4: Colonel Kill Motherfuckers


DEAD SHIT saw the arrival of many new faces to the Hack Movies collective as background zombies. People like Andrew Varbel, pictured above with Joshitsuo Montoya as Colonel Kill, gets his arms ripped off and beaten to death with them in DEAD SHIT. Hack Movies mainstay Erik A. Williams and the late David Wayne Black made their first appearances. Jonny Jonny who would go on to play Mother in Colonel Kill as well as co-edit every Hack Movie thereafter even showed up as the smiling zombie in DEAD SHIT.

All of these guys would get bigger, beefier roles in our next feature length film. Josh had been with us for a few years up to this point and had always remained a loyal soldier. Come rain, shine or an act of God, Joshitsuo Montoya was on set and never bitched. So when he came to me and told me he’d been having dreams that he wanted to see turned into a movie, I was all ears. He told me he wanted to play a killer soldier character based around the time he’d spent in the Army. I rolled it around in my head, and decided I could definitely do a Hack Movies spin on that!

After I completed the script, I sent it over to Josh, who loved it. I sent it out to all the weirdos I’d met as background extras on the set of DEAD SHIT and told them there were bigger roles available in COLONEL KILL if they wanted them. And want them they did! So I gathered my Hack Movies mainstays, and added a few newcomers to join the former background extras to shoot our biggest film to date. Filming took 7 months and hit all kinds of snags, but by the time we got the last shot recorded, Jonny and I had the rest of the movie edited so we were ready to jam that sucker onto a DVD piece and mass produce it for the world to see!

By this time, between me and Nick Head, we’d grown our Myspace pages (yes, myspace was hotter than shit in the year 2007) to over 50,000 minions strong! We spammed the shit out of that site with all kinds of illegal bot programs and whatnot to ensure that the Mighty Hack Movies would not go un-noticed! We needed to hit the road and screen these flicks. We did double features of COLONEL KILL and DEAD SHIT all over the country with the help of one TimO, famous musician, horror movie fan and the biggest pro wrestling nerd I know.

Tim hits the riff in the world famous Hack Intro song that plays before all the DVDs, plays Tony in DEAD SHIT and follows up that performance with my personal favorite character in COLONEL KILL, TimO’s Jables. Being a famous musician and all, he also started making most of the music for Hack Movies around this time. With Nick, Jonny, TimO and our bevy of actors, Hack Movies was truly hitting our stride around this time. We worked tirelessly to promote our current films, and plan out the stages for our next cinematic adventure. The con tours were long, money was non-existent, and tempers flared, but nothing could tear the bond apart that started to coalesce within our group after we made COLONEL KILL MOTHERFUCKERS.

Tomorrow we’ll talk about how STIFF JOBS went from being a series of free internet shorts (sound familiar) to the next Hack Movies feature film and a prequel to COCKHAMMER!

5 thoughts on “7 Days in Strangeville Day 4: Colonel Kill Motherfuckers

  1. Where can I pick up these movies? I was introduced to these movies with a review of Nixon and Hogan smoke christmas, and I want to see the others, thank you.

  2. Where can I pick up these movies? I was introduced to these movies with a review of Nixon and Hogan smoke christmas, and I want to see the others, thank you.

    • Hi, thanks for the interest! unfortunately the Hack Movies have been out of print for a very long time. You might have luck on the secondary DVD market.

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