Weird Movie Recommendation: Laserblast (1978)


Laserblast is a terrible movie. So bad, in fact, Mystery Science Theater did an episode dedicated to it. But back when little Kevin Strange saw this sucker on USA Up All Night in the early 90s, I hadn’t even heard of MST3K. What I did have was a heavy hankering for monster movies!

And not only does Laserblast have freakin LASERS and spaceships in the first minute, it’s also got some badass stop motion alien monster that reminded me of the Ray Harryhausen Sinbad movies that I loved as a kid.

What follows is a goofy damn tale of a weird ass kid who stumbles upon a laser gun in the desert, a cop who has absolutely no reason to be looking for said laser gun but does anyway and the aliens who left it on earth frantically turning their space ship around to go get it.

Throw in utterly pointless pool party scenes and nonsense characters like the laser gun kid’s girlfriend’s senile ex military father and two goonie traffic cops that make Barny Fife look competent and you’ve got a whole hell of a lot of time wasting fluff and a little bit of ultra cool laser gun alien fighting madness.

 

Kevin Strange’s Weird Movie Recommendation: Future World (2018)


Future World is James Franco’s love-letter to Albert Pyun’s Cyborg universe. And lucky for me, I absolutely adore Albert Pyun’s Cyborg universe (I’ve written many post-apocalyptic novel tributes to the man myself.) I consider Nemesis and Knights to be among the absolute best B-movie post-apocalyptic sci-fi flicks ever made.

Does Future World belong in that elite group of batshit insane robot flicks? No. But it was a damn fun ride and a great send-up to one of the coolest sub-genres of science fiction.

I don’t know the back story about this flick but it seems Franco called in some favors from some very talented friends to go out in the desert and shoot himself an Albert Pyun movie. He’s got A list actors like Mila Jovovich, Lucy Liu, Method Man and Snoop Dogg (Ok these last two might not be A list actors, but are certainly household names.)

He’s got freakin Werner Herzog’s director of photography doing amazing hand-held, long shots with complex interior/exterior action and even managed to score the lead from another weird post-apocalyptic flick in Suki Waterhouse who played the super-hot amputee ass-kicker in 2016’s The Bad Batch (which also featured A-list actors in a low budget B-movie.)

So what’s Future World all about? Not much, really. This sub-genre of sci-fi generally consists of dressing up a bunch of beautiful women in fetish-wear and then making them run, ride dirtbikes and drive dune buggies through the California desert for an hour and a half and that’s exactly what happens here.

James Franco takes on the role of the big bad in this one in the form of Warlord, a desert raider and leader of a gang of bikers who stumble upon a beautiful cyborg named Ash who has deactivated herself as a protest to the endless human war raging in the wasteland.

Franco’s Warlord reactivates her and makes her his sex/violence slave. Meanwhile, over in the lush, green Oasis, Lucy Liu’s Queen is dying from a terrible post-world disease and her son Prince has heard rumors that a cure exists on the other side of the wasteland.

Prince and his buddies ride to the Neon Forest AKA Snoop Dogg’s strip club for information only to run into Warlord and Ash. Prince’s friends are killed and Warlord forces Prince to take him back to the Oasis so Warlord can rape and plunder. Ash defies her new owner, saves Prince and heads deep into the desert where they meet Mila Jovovich’s Drug Lord, a psychotic meth cook who falls in love with Ash the moment she sees her.

What follows is some fantastic hammy acting from all involved. They know exactly what they’re doing here from the plot, to the character designs right down to the 80s throwback synth soundtrack from Toydrum. This isn’t supposed to be a great cinematic work. It’s supposed to be a fast, loose, cheap post-apocalyptic robot movie the likes of which were made over and over and over again in the 1980s after the popularity of Albert Pyun’s Cyborg.

In the end, I found Future World to be an absolute blast. There’s great and I mean GREAT action cinematography, cool costume designs, over-the-top action and violence and some very sweet subplots involving girl-on-robot-girl action that will surely satisfy Suki Waterhouse fans.

Future World is available now at Redbox and I’m sure it’ll hit everyone’s favorite binge streaming sites soon enough. If you’re a fan of the post-apocalyptic genre, give this flick a shot. There’s a LOT worse out there. I give 2018’s Future World 4 out of 5 enthusiastic lesbian cyborg StrangeHeads!

Kevin Strange’s Weird Movie Recommendation: Gantz: 0


Gantz: 0 is an incredibly well animated CGI Japanese action movie which tells the story of a group of dead teenagers who wake up inside a violent game where they are made to fight grotesque and frightening monsters, or else face death all over again.

According to its Wikipedia page, this weird ass flick was directed by Yasushi Kawamura, produced by Digital Frontier, written by Tsutomu Kuroiwa and based on the manga series Gantz, which was written and illustrated by Hiroya Oku. It was released in Japan by Toho on October 14, 2016.

Now I don’t know what any of that means because I don’t read manga and, aside from a few exceptions (like these ultra violent anime movies) I hate anime. But I do know cool fucking movies when I see them and MAN this is a cool ass flick!

So what’s so cool about Gantz: 0? Well, for starters this flick just throws you right into the madness. It opens with a hot Japanese chick and some flowy haired dude wearing skin tight leather costumes that would give The Matrix a run for its money in terms of ridiculousness. They have these bizarre blue-light weapons and they’re wasting cool ass monsters left and right until the flowy haired dude takes on what I assume is the big bad, dying in the process. The girl mourns his death as they’re both teleported away from the city streets.

Boom, just like that, we’re in. Then we cut to another flowy haired dude (there are a lot of flowy haired dudes in this flick, which is fine because there are enough hot chicks and monsters to balance it out) who gets savagely murdered by a knife wielding maniac at a subway station.

Our new flowy haired dude then wakes up in a room with a giant black ball and several other dudes who all seem to have a WAY better idea of what’s going on than our new dead dude (or us as audience members who don’t watch anime or read manga, for that matter.)

This small team is then transported to another city where they are tasked with eliminating every monster inside some arbitrary perimeter inside an allotted amount of time. They are each equipped with a different badass weapon for the job. Of course our flowy-haired dead guy has no idea how they work. Essentially they’re some kind of sonic weapon that has a slight delay after they’re triggered and then a small cooling-down period giving each shot tension as we don’t know if the shots hit or miss for a second or two after they’re fired.

So then the monsters show up and HOLY FUCKING SHIT ARE THESE MONSTERS COOL AS FUCK!

We get everything from winged demon looking things to goblins, ghouls, zombies, lovecraftian tentacle terrors, bipedal creatures, doglike beasts, insectoid creepy crawlers. You name it. And this CGI is top-knotch as an animation style. These things might look cartoony and goofy in a live-action movie, but since everything in the film is CGI, the monsters just look super fucking badass.

So our dead peeps slaughter these monsters and then run into another team of players. It is then explained that each monster kill is worth points. Anyone who scores 100 points in the game can choose between resurrecting a dead teammate, taking a weapon upgrade or they can leave the game.

And so for the next 90 or so minutes we just follow these motherfuckers as they kill crazier and crazier monsters. At one point they engage with the final boss of the level who appears first as a tiny old man and then in increasingly deadlier and larger forms, over and over again each time they kill it. The whole batshit crazy thing culminates with tons of dead players, monsters, decapitations, eviscerations, mutilations and even a giant mech!

Fundamentally this kind of movie is for weird fat white guys who jack off to anime girls with big dicks, but with all of the insane monsters, mechs and cool weapons flying about, I think horror and sci-fi lovers can also find something to appreciate here.

Last I checked this was available to watch on netflix, so it ain’t gonna cost you anything extra to check it out if you’ve got a subscription.

I give Gantz: 0 a solid 4 out of 5 Strangeheads for super-gory monster action.