Why I Don’t Want To Be Your Facebook Friend Anymore

kevinthestrangelogo4Girls rule, boys drool.

That’s the basic sentiment on the internet today. Specifically social media. And more specifically in the artistic circles I run in. And that’s fine. It’s an age old fight. The battle of the sexes and whatnot.

But me? I’ve always gotten along with women. I was raised by a single mother. Was always around my sisters and cousins who were female, have always had female friends. My best friends to this day are women. If given a choice, I would much rather spend my free time with a funny chick than a group of dudes.

So forgive me if I don’t give a single fuck about your fight.

Back in the Myspace days, the infancy of social media, if you will, I had over 30,000 followers hanging out with me, posting cool shit, sharing links to our art and music and generally just enjoying the sudden boom in communication with like-minded individuals.

And then the fucking sourpusses found the internet and ruined everything.

Fast forward to 2015 and everything is political. Everything is race baiting, pulpit pounding, nobody has a sense of humor. Everyone is outraged over this thing or that for half an hour before moving on to the next world ending, sky falling, nonsense matter THAT YOU HAVE TO TAKE ABSOLUTELY SERIOUSLY! REPOST THIS LINK IF YOU CARE ABOUT LIFFFFEEEE!!!

You can’t pour water on your head without some asshole in California crying about his drought. You can’t sympathize with a community overwrought with police brutality without their race becoming the mitigating factor. You can’t be male and white without someone reminding you of patriarchy and privilege, as though you, of all races and genders, somehow had a choice in the matter, or that your -$7.50 bank account is somehow more privileged than someone with a different shade of skin. You can’t even play video games anymore without being dragged into a boy gamers vs girl gamers debate. 

All the fun of the internet has been sucked away by the same people we all came to the internet to avoid. When we came here, we did so to find like minded individuals with which to share our interests, passions and life experiences. And for a while it was AWESOME.

Now? As we creep ever closer to the 2016 presidential election, I fear all remaining fun on the internet will be lost forever. We already gave it up to the government without so much as a fight. The FCC, the same entity that fines beautiful women for exposing their anatomy during artistic performances now have control over what we see and do on the internet. And indie film mavericks like Lloyd Kaufman at Troma, one of the last bastions of offensive humor in art, is praising them for it!

The internet is truly lost, and I have been forced to take a defensive posture, for the sake of my own mental health.

It is the philosophy of all artists to keep their social media open and free for all to find them. Public pages, accept all friend requests, build a network as large and diverse as possible.

Sadly, those days are as long gone as auto-play music players on our Myspace pages.

I closed my facebook to the public several months ago after falling victim to the newest social media craze: public shaming. The act of dealing with any and every perceived offense by bullying said offender in public to as many people as possible to “get them” for hurting your feelings, picking the wrong political party, disagreeing with you about gun rights, having the balls to form their own opinion about religion, or any other innocuous disagreement that, if handled with common sense and a pinch of maturity, would remain private.

Not anymore! And so I’ve kept my page private and denied just about every friend request I’ve received. Why? Because I don’t give a fuck about your racist memes, your political affiliation, how you feel about gay rights, how much you hate Muslims, the 8,000 pictures of your children, or what you had for dinner last night.

I really, truly do not give a fuck about any of that.

I love monster movies, metal music, alt models, indie lit, and bullshitting with my friends. We’re men and women from all races, religions, and sexualities who don’t have to designate those things are our identity just to communicate with each other. We can bust balls and take jokes and not go into outrage mode every day over shit we won’t remember tomorrow. Those are the types of relationships I care to have on my social media. Because before a writer, before a film maker, I’m a person.

There are many ways to find me to keep up with my books and movies if you’re a fan. From Twitter, to my website, to my newsletter or podcast. We don’t have to be Facebook friends. Chances are, I’ll just unfollow you the first time you post racist shit, anyway.